The scars the Rose left
by Shelliepossible
Summary: After the fall of Beacon Ruby starts to blame herself for the events that transpired. From Pyrrha to Yang she can't help but feel guilt. When Ruby heads to Mantel with The remainder of team JNPR she falls deeper and deeper into the darkness and she finds a way to control the guilt. Will somebody notice before Ruby does something dangerous? *trigger warning*
1. Chapter 1

The scream was undeniably Ruby's. Anyone would an ear could tell from miles away. To Qrow it was heartbreaking. As he ran faster than he ever did before he couldn't help but wonder just what Ruby was facing. All around Qrow was dead bodies either crushed by debris and rubble or mauled to death by a Grimm. It was hard to look but Qrow found it even harder to avoid.

The tower finally came into view and what Qrow saw was something he could never have imagined. The way Beacon just sat there empty of students. A place so full of light and happiness turned to nothing but a dead zone. How many lives? Qrow didn't want to know the answer. He grimaced at the state of the tower Ozpin has spent so long in turned to nothing more but piles of cogs and broken building.

It took Qrow a minute and he didn't know how he had missed it. But the large dragon Grimm just sat there, clinging to the side of the building like a lifeline. It's glowing eyes were widened and unblinking. Qrow frowned again and continued running. His niece was up there and at the moment that was his priority.

Qrow cringed as he ran up stair after stair, past old relics thrown carelessly on the ground, group pictures smashed beyond recognition and more bodies of staff that never made it. He tsked loudly as he made it onto the roof and stumbled over a tiara. Qrow didn't have time to contemplate just why the golden band was lying there or where he had seen it from before. His only priority was right in front of him.

Ruby looked peaceful to say the least. A little tattered and a few marks here and there but that was to expected. God knows how many Grimm Ruby had fought. Or who she had fought. Qrow took the rose into his arms and smiled at her gentle snore.

"It's alright I gotcha kiddo, I gotcha" Qrow assured and hurried back the way he came. He shivered as the dragon looked at him but it didn't make a move.

Qrow made it back to the loading bay quick enough and found Yang still lying where she had been left. The Faunus girl was gone and everyone else had either boarded an airship to safety or were still waiting for any sign of friends.

Qrow grimaced again as the distinguished logo of the Schnee dust company flew by and turned away before he started something he'd regret. His second biggest concern at that moment was to get his nieces back home with Tai.

Qrow turned to the wreckage one last time and shook his head.

It had been a little more than a week since the fall of Beacon. The days had gone slower than anything Ruby had ever lived through and she found herself longing for the days she spent back in Beacon. But thinking of Beacon made her think of Pyrrha and Ruby didn't like to think of that much.

For the first time that week Ruby managed to stomach a small breakfast and she wandered around the house completely at a loss of what to do. She was so used to waking every morning to go to class. Not waking every morning in a silent house.

Ruby passed by the room Yang was occupying and took a peak around the doorway. As usual Yang was in bed just staring out the window with a distant look in her eyes. Ruby could feel her heart breaking. She missed her bright happy sister. Not the shell of her former self.

Ruby backed away from the door and the crushing guilty feeling sat in her stomach again. She couldn't help but blame herself for everything. It took Tai a good few hours to calm her down after a nightmare and the whole time Ruby blamed herself through sobs. She couldn't stop herself from taking all the blame.

Blake was gone, Weiss was gone, Yang was depressed and Pyrrha was... Ruby stopped herself and headed into the kitchen to put her plate away. Her skin itched. It had been happening for the entire week and Ruby couldn't get it to leave. She scratched at her wrist as she shuffled around the kitchen and gave a smile at the pathetic attempt of a motivational note Taiyang had left on the counter.

Ruby turned around still wearing her small smile and jumped when she almost ran into Yang's chest. It was the first time since they got home that Ruby saw Yang out of bed. Her face was expressionless and she barely batted an eyelid in Ruby's direction before brushing past her and heading toward the fridge.

"Are you ok?" Ruby asked quietly. She scratched harder at her arm when Yang ignored her. Ruby tried to keep it going "Any news from Weiss o-or Blake?"

Yang's fist clenched tightly around the handle of the fridge and she turned around sharply "Shut up Ruby"

Ruby backed up a bit and her bottom lip wobbled. Tears threatened to fall down her cheeks but Ruby brushed them away furiously. All her fault. The words echoed around her head.

"Don't you get it Ruby?" Yang growled "They're never coming back. Blake ran and Weiss was taken away. What don't you get about that"

Ruby was taken aback by her sisters loud tone. The first words she had spoken to her since Beacon and they were in spite. Ruby let a stray tear fall down her cheek before she ran off up the stairs.

"This is all your fault. Your not special like Qrow said. Your just a burden" Ruby muttered as she paced back and forth. Her skin was stinging again and digging her nails into her palms only helped for a few moments. She bit her lip to stop it from wobbling and fling herself down into the bed.

It brought the memory of Qrow explaining what happened all back to Ruby as she stared at the ceiling. How he said Pyrrha was gone, the Grimm has frozen. How Ruby's eyes were special. But they weren't special enough to save Pyrrha. If only Ruby had of been faster. All her fault.

Ruby looked down at her wrist as blood was slowly bubbling to the surface. At first she was shocked to see the crimson. Ruby waited a minute and when her aura didn't heal the small wound she frowned. But to her surprise the itch was gone. Ruby continued to scratch harder at her wrist and more blood spilled slowly from the small wound. Ruby smiled

hey thanks for reading I guess. This honestly came to my mind last minute and I wrote it mostly out of boredom too. Opinions? This was honestly thrown together about ten minutes ago and I hope the characters aren't too OOC. I might write more I dunno. Thanks again for reading :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own RWBY

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Ruby woke abruptly to the sound of rain crashing loudly against the window pane and Pyrrha's voice circling her head like a broken record. It continued long after Ruby realised sleep wasn't returning. She sat up and brought her knees to her chest. The tears were forming at her eyes again and Ruby clamped her hands over her ears to stop the voice. Pyrrha always called Jaune. Just an image of Pyrrha disintegrating and Jaune being called over and over.

Ruby wanted to scream out of frustration and grabbed the nearest pillow. She screamed until her throat was hoarse and flung the corgi shaped pillow across the room. It knocked down a few Grimm figures and Ruby sighed loudly. This was a terrible start to her day. Through the easing rain, Ruby could see the sun peeking out from behind the mountains and got up.

A crimson bag sat on the desk across from her bed and Ruby gave it a sideward glance. From inside her scroll pinged loudly. It was her only communication with the outside world and only Jaune messaged and called her. But ever hopeful, Ruby dug for the scroll and held her breath as she opened it. Just Jaune again. No messages from Weiss, none from Blake.

The blonde was still grieving, getting there of course, but still grieving for his lost love. Every time she saw his face all Ruby could hear was his desperate pleas. She couldn't save her. Ruby held her breath and stared at the message with teary eyes. She couldn't cry. But the tears fell anyway and Ruby's skin itched.

"Be there soon" the message read as Ruby quickly skimmed over it. She left the message on seen and ducked into the bathroom quietly.

The light flickered on overhead and Ruby caught a glance of her reflection in the mirror above the sink. Bags had begun forming under her silver eyes and somehow her skin had paled more than before. Some would say stress. It sure had been a stressful week and Ruby realised with a frown that it was only going to get more stressful as the next few months progressed. But stress wasn't even considered to Ruby. Her nights had been filled with broken sleep and screaming friends. Not enough sleep to function properly, not enough friends to confide in.

Ruby focused on her eyes and was convinced they would glow brightly. The way her uncle had described what her eyes could do. Ruby wasn't convinced about any of it. Her eyes weren't enough to save Pyrrha, Penny or Yang. She couldn't even save people right. What was the point in being a huntress? Ruby felt the guilt forming in her stomach again like somebody had punched her hard and she fell back against the wall as she clutched her stomach.

Ruby's sobs came out in broken chokes and digging her nails down her wrist didn't seem to help enough to get rid of the guilt. Ruby dug harder, raking her fingers up and down her pale skin as it broke and blood rushed to the surface. It wasn't enough. Each picture of Pyrrha or Penny that crossed Ruby's mind caused the guilt to build up more and more. Ruby didn't know if she could handle it. She thought of going to Yang but the same empty face Yang had given her stopped Ruby from going to her.

Ruby stopped halfway through digging at her skin and looked at the little damage she had done. The confusion about why here aura wasn't sustaining the damage was still there but the confusion of why the pain wasn't helping was the main thing Ruby was thinking. She still felt the guilt suffocating her slowly and scratching wasn't helping. Just the other night it had been a life saver. Why not now?

Ruby crept into the kitchen and looked around for something that could help. Under the artificial light a small knife glistened. It was no longer than Ruby's ring finger and just as wide with a black plastic handle. The blade was perfectly clean and Ruby recognised it from the set within the drawers. It was the smallest one and the least used of the lot. Ruby looked over her shoulder once before heading back down to her bedroom.

Ruby sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her pink wrist. The white lines from her nails had faded already and the pink was slowly starting to disappear to be replaced with pale white. This made Ruby frown. She took the blade and stared at it for a few minutes trying to think. But thinking was pushed away with images of dead bodies, everybody she couldn't save. Ruby bit hard down on her lip and placed the blade against her wrist.

Ruby pulled the blade across her wrist in one swift motion and a trail of blood followed quickly afterwards. It was only a small sting, a pinch even and didn't hurt much but Ruby figured that after the pain her body had been through before, a little cut wasn't going to hurt as much. But as Ruby did it again the guilt slowly disappeared. The weight fell from her shoulders and Ruby felt that she could relax.

Ten minutes later and Ruby had made several small red lines across her skin. She would have kept going only for the fact that the floorboard next door creaked loudly and that indicated someone was awake. Ruby cleaned off the blade and hid it underneath a set of clothes in her bag and staunched the bleeding with a tissue.

The clock on her scroll read 7 past 6 and Ruby took a deep breath, grabbed a piece of paper and began to write. After signing the letter with a heart and her name, Ruby quickly got dressed and put Crescent Rose on her back, shouldered her bag and headed for the door. As expected the remainder of JNPR stood waiting outside with early morning smiles. They headed down the path and Ruby didn't look back.

Back in the house Yang watched the backs of her friends heading off in the early morning and barely batted an eyelid as they went. A crow flew off a branch and followed them while the sound of a plate crashing from the other room alerted her that Taiyang had found the note. Yang sighed and got to her feet.

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 **A/N:** Wow people actually liked my first chapter? Even with the shitty mistakes in grammar? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?! all jokes aside I really appreciate the reads guys it means a lot and I couldn't wait to get back to writing the next chapter y'all gave me motivation. Opinions on the chapter? Was it rushed cause i feel like it was and Ruby was OOC. I dunno please help haha .

So do you read stories on your phone or computer? I'm curious dunno why but ah well.

Thanks again for reading and I'll try update again soon. But with school and Christmas its gonna be hard. Have faith in me I do my best :3. Have a good day :)


	3. Chapter 3

The atmosphere in the household was tense for the rest of the day. Yang hovered around after Taiyang as he frantically called anyone he could to find Ruby. Everyone answered the same, they hadn't seen her. Each time someone hung up Yang could see Taiyang shutting down more and more. Yang made sure to hide whatever drop of alcohol there was in the house. She wouldn't let him shut down again. Yang realised that was a bit hypocritical of her. After all she had shut down after the fall of Beacon.

But to Yang's surprise Taiyang managed to pick himself back up and remain calm to say the least. After he finished the calls however he disappeared and Yang feared he'd found a drink somewhere. She left him be and went back into her room. She needed time to think alone so she shut the door tight and fell back down onto her bed.

Yang raised her arm and stared at the space where her hand would've been and frowned. It had been easy to get used to not having her hand anymore but it wasn't easy to accept the fact that it was gone. Yang wouldn't be able to use Ember Celica anymore and that was the part Yang couldn't accept. She had used those weapons for years and for them to suddenly just be unusable was heart breaking.

Thinking of her gauntlets lead her to thinking of her little sister again. Yang new part of it was her fault. She had watched Ruby go without even saying a word. Yang even admitted to herself that she possibly drove Ruby out of the house. She couldn't tell. Ruby used to tell her everything but Yang had shut her out.

Taiyang appeared a few minutes later and stuck is head around the door. His blonde hair was dishevelled and he wore a deep frown but he tried his best to stay happy for Yang's sake "Qrow's gone too, hopefully after Ruby. She'll come home soon I bet don't worry"

Yang nodded her head and let her arm flop back down beside her. She watched the leaves falling off the trees out the window. Something told her Ruby wouldn't be coming back for a while but Yang couldn't bring herself to tell her dad. He'd lost enough family members in his life. All Yang could do was be there for him until they saw Ruby again. If they saw Ruby again.

Weiss' heels echoed off the marble floors as she wandered through her home. She kept her eyes trained on the floor to tell anyone who was passing not to interrupt her. But Weiss realised that there was nobody around anyways. The castle was as empty as it always was. She didn't miss this place. She didn't miss all the ice coloured sculptures or the many corridors filled with many rooms. To Weiss White Castle wasn't home anymore. Beacon was.

Weiss continued walking down the corridor in the direction of her father's study. She had no intent to go see her father. In fact, Weiss wanted to be as far away from the man as possible and her destination was just past his study. Since being home Weiss wanted to go into the gardens. The gardens were her favourite place but she hadn't found the will to leave her room beforehand. People would ask questions about Beacon and Weiss didn't want to think about it.

"Good afternoon, sister"

Weiss lifted her head and was met with the icy stare of her brother. She had only seen him once since coming home and that was because Whitley was attached at the hip to father. Weiss found it odd that he wasn't with him at the moment but didn't find it important enough to ask. She slipped past Whitley and turned around again. His icy blue eyes caused a shiver to tumble down her spine but she played it off easily.

"You seem happy today. Where's mother?" Weiss asked casually. But she knew the answer, they all did. Weiss just couldn't find any other thing to start to the conversation. Although Weiss was hopeful the answer would be different.

"In the gardens, drinking again I'm afraid to say" Whitley replied and smiled "Good to see you out of your bedroom. It sure was lonely without having you around"

Weiss cocked an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. That ruined her plans of going to the gardens. She hated when mother was drinking and tended to steer clear of her until she was sober again, which was rarely. But Whitley was acting off and Weiss wanted to get back to being alone again.

"What do you want Whitley?"

"Father's in his study and he does not sound too happy. He was shouting when I went by. I just thought I'd give you a warning Weiss, he wants to speak to you" Whitley warned and bowed his head a little.

"I should be fine" Weiss responded quietly

"I know you will. You're strong like Winter and I highly doubt this will phase you sister" Whitley smiled at Weiss' shocked expression.

"You never liked Winter" Weiss asked with her eyebrow rising again. Whitley nodded his head in agreement

"True I admit I don't feel fond towards Winter but you cannot deny she is strong. "I hope you do remember that I didn't cease to grow while you were away at Beacon. Good luck with Father" Whitley responded

Whitley turned down the hallway and disappeared around the corner without another word. Weiss rocked on the back of her heels for a moment and hesitated moving. She turned and looked at the family portrait staring down at her and smiled. The picture was an old one. When Winter still lived at home, when Mother didn't find consolation in alcohol and when everyone was happy. Weiss missed those days the most.

She headed in the direction of father's study and kept her head high. But with each step she took her confidence took a hit and by the time she was standing outside the door Weiss' confidence had drained out of her and she was left with fear. From beyond the door Weiss could hear the loud voice of her father and shivered. Whoever he was addressing was really getting chewed out. Weiss took a deep breath, raised her hand and knocked on the door.

When there was no answer Weiss pushed open the door and was met with the scene of her father yelling loudly at General Ironwood who was trying his best to get a word in only to be rolled over by her father. He slammed his glass on the table and turned to Ironwood with a deathly glare.

The door slowly shut behind Weiss which alerted the men of her presence. Weiss stiffened her shoulders and looked down at the floor. She had a feeling this conversation wasn't going to be as pleasant as she had hoped.

"Miss Schnee" Ironwood greeted and bowed "We'll talk another time Jacques. Good day" Ironwood brushed past Weiss and turned to her "There will always be a place for you at Atlas. I hope you will consider"

Once the door had shut between them Weiss could hear ice knocking against glass "Did you forget your manners while you were away? I thought I raised you better than to barge into my study like that"

Weiss took a deep breath and turned to her father. At times like that she really missed Ruby's annoying voice, Yang's stupid puns and even Blake's secrecy. She'd give anything to go back. By the look on her father's face Weiss knew she was in for something.

A/N: Merry Christmas! Even though I'm late . (or happy holidays if you don't celebrate Christmas)

This chapter was basically filler I guess and I'll have a few of this chapters, but better hopefully, in the future. Its only to make sure the story doesn't go to fast.

I feel like I'll be writing about the other members of RWBY every so often but I dunno yet. This chapter is also a mess and crap because I'm currently sick and kind of threw this together last minute so I could have a chapter. But I promise the next chapter will be better.

Honestly this chapter is pissing me off and i hesitated to post it but its all I have to work with and I also currently have writers block so this is the best I could do. Sorry L

Thank you for reading and happy new year!

Also i want to thank you all for the reviews i do read them all and i am really grateful for it thank you so much.


	4. Chapter 4

Ruby stared at the flames as they licked the otherwise cold night air. She leaned back against the tree and fiddled with the trigger of Crescent Rose to distract herself. She hated the night watch almost as much as she hated sleeping, nightmares again. But it gave her a chance to be alone with herself and her thoughts. The cold blade rubbed against her leg as Ruby shifted and glanced over at her sleeping team.

Nora had managed to fall asleep mere moments after they had picked a spot to camp at and Ren was soon to follow suit. Ruby frowned at Jaune as he shifted and groaned slightly, his face twisted into a grimace, and she felt sympathetic. He missed Pyrrha more then he let on and somehow Ruby felt it was her fault. She couldn't save her.

At that thought, her skin flared and itched under the material of her sleeve and her eyes darted over her temporary team as they slept before grabbing the knife and staring at it. It had been a much-needed comfort as they trudged through an endless forest and further away from home. But Ruby couldn't find a moment alone to use the blade as they stayed on high alert for grimm or anyone who posed a threat.

Ruby lifted her sleeve and stared at the marks now barely noticeable in the dim light of the fire. She would only leave a few lines, ones that wouldn't cause alarm if someone saw. They were out in the wilderness anyways and scratches would become common, aura or not. Ruby bit down on her lip and sighed in frustration, ready to watch blood be drawn but was stopped mid-air to Jaune shifting again and sitting up.

The blade was gone from view quicker than anyone could blink and Ruby forced a smile at the blonde knight who looked disoriented but relaxed when he saw the youngest smiling at him. Ruby mentally sighed as Jaune padded his way past Ren and sat down beside Ruby with his hair sticking up haphazardly.

"Nightmares?" Ruby asked quietly as she studied the boy's face. She hadn't realised but bags were formed under his eyes somehow making him look older than he was. Ruby noted that was her fault.

"Y-yeah" Jaune replied and stared into the dying flames with an unreadable expression "I can take over if you want to rest"

Ruby waved her hand and shook her head as she leaned back against the tree to stare up at the shattered moon. It always made her feel calmer. "Ever wonder what happened to the moon?"

"Couldn't say" Jaune inclined his head toward the glowing object and frowned "Maybe it'll disappear someday then we'd be doomed"

They both fell silent and Ruby scratched at her wrist to ease the craving as Jaune surveyed the stars. It was a comfortable silence with only Nora snoring every few seconds breaking the silence. Ruby glanced at Jaune and saw an empty, distant look forming in his eyes. Her heart felt heavy as Pyrrha flashed across her mind.

What would it be like if she was still there with them and JNPR was still a full team? If Blake hadn't run off or Weiss wasn't taken back home to Atlas? Would Yang be her same old punny self? Ruby felt a lump forming in her throat and tried to swallow, tears welled at her eyes as everyone flashed through her mind. The tears slipped down her cheeks and left glittery tracks and before Ruby could stop herself, she was sobbing into her hands.

Jaune sprung forward and stared at the girl with a hopeless look. He shook his head and placed an arm around Ruby, bringing her closer to his chest and hugging her tight. It was the closest they had ever been but Jaune pushed away the embarrassment and stroked her hair gently as sobs continued to rack her body.

"I'm sorry" Ruby howled through thick tears and large gulps. She pushed away from Jaune and wrapped her arms around herself "I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt"

Jaune was taken aback as Ruby continued to apologise for something she hadn't caused. He watched her silently for a moment and tried to think of something to say to the scythe wielder but he hadn't ever faced a problem like that before. Sure, he had seven sisters but their problems had been mainly boy related. None of them had the weight of the world on their shoulders, although they had acted like they had.

"Hey, hey listen to me" Jaune whispered gently, easing the girl from her curled up position to get her silver eyes to look at his blue. She looked so much smaller and sometimes Jaune forgot just how young she was compared to everyone else "None of what happened is your fault alright? This is Cinder's doing not yours"

"But if I had of been faster then maybe Pyrrha would still be alive, penny…. I caused all this. I'm such a failure"

Jaune kept his hand gently on who he would consider his best friend and let her finish her rant, although it hurt his heart to see her so broken and upset. It took a few minutes but eventually she stopped talking and just cried until her throat was sore and her eyes were red.

Ruby's crying dulled to small sniffles and occasional hiccups as she stared at Jaune. Her skin itched terribly under her sleeve but she had to contain herself from pulling out the blade but Jaune was gentle and patient as he waited for her to fully listen. Ruby was grateful even if she had a hard time showing it.

"We're going to hunt her down and avenge Pyrrha and Penny alright"

"A-alright" Ruby whispered through a hiccup. She brushed away the remnants of her tears and glanced over at the occupied sleeping bags, surprised neither of them had woken up to her ugly meltdown.

Silence fell again as Ruby leaned against the tree. Her crying had taken all the energy out of her and Ruby closed her eyes with the hopes that her sleep would be dreamless. She still thought of Pyrrha and wondered how Jaune had handled himself after the fall of Beacon.

Jaune watched her drift off with a troubled frown and kept his eyes on her as the fire sizzled down to nothing but ash. He knew what had happened was out of character for Ruby but he figured it was overdue anyways. She had taken on all the stress by herself and insisted on carrying it. Jaune was just glad she got it out of her system, for now.

Ruby did dream as she slept but it was of chocolate chip cookies and corgi's. No nightmares in sight.

Oh look who came back after many months without updating...ME!

Alright who is ready for excuses? I just lost motivation for a lot of my projects and either deleted them or just forgot about them. But I decided that it was time to get back on track and stop sitting around doing nothing productive. So here i am, back and alive. Sorry for not updating I'll try be more frequent.

However I have a week of important exams coming up, my junior cert, and Won't update until after they are finished but i will update, trust me.

Thank you so much for reading and sticking with this story and my hopeless motivationless ass. Review if you like :3


	5. Chapter 5

Damn I haven't updated this in months I am a terrible writer haha.

Well anyways this story will be the death of me because no matter how many times I try to write a new chapter it always comes out shit and I delete it. Basically I've lost my motivation for this story and to be completely honest I had no Idea where this was going in the first place. I wrote the first chapter randomly on my phone after the season 3 finale and never planned on publishing it. I was just going along with whatever I wrote but now I'm at a loss.

I think I'm officially done with this story and I'm sorry for wasting all your time if you stuck around. I feel bad to end it suddenly but I've completely given up. This writers block has been going on for months and I can't seem to get out of it. I hope anyone reading this understands.

I wont delete it though because maybe some day I'll come back to it and complete it but for the meantime this is as far as it's going.

Thank you everyone for the support, reviews and favourites it really meant a lot to me and made me feel like I could truly become a writer some day.

~Shellie


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